Avengers Assemble

As I’m writing this, I am currently re-watching an entire collection of marvel movies in preparation for Avengers: Infinity Wars. I am going to be watching it on the day that this post is going up, and I am excited. I have always been a geek for the classics like Star Wars and Harry Potter. But the Marvel Universe is a vast one, the movies are nothing like the comics obviously, but both are quite fascinating. I feel like the complexities of these three worlds are quite enthralling and definitely worth a look into.

I’m missing out on quite a bit of the marathon, so I’m keeping this short. I promise the next post will be worth reading.

Who else was/is excited about Avengers Infinity Wars? Comment below!

Reflection

Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror?

Does what you see, match what you wish to see?

Do you love yourself as much as those who love you do?

Why do we see our imperfections and flaws before the good things?

I will freely say that I have dealt with my fair share of insecurities and I know that pretty much everyone else has too. Not only physical insecurities but also insecurities about my personality and stuff like whether people would accept me for being me. But as I grew up, I realized that these “flaws” that I would always see, would always be with me for as long as I did nothing about it. As much as I worked out or wore makeup, I could never fit into my ideal of what was pretty. In my mind, my face was too fat, I didn’t have a good smile, I was too short. I have a belly most of the time.

And this was only my physical features too. My friends are beautiful and they’re smart as heck and they have goals that reach beyond whatever I could ever hope to achieve. Yet, I couldn’t help but compare, I’m not in sports, I have average grades, I have no idea what I want to do. BUT, the question is, then, what am I happy with about myself? How could I find a way to offset these “flaws”? So, I began with activities that I really love doing: designing and writing.

This blog is borne of my insecurities.

I exercise to achieve a better body.

I design clothing.

I live positively.

Yet, I still have to face these insecurities every single day. And, that’s okay.

My friends know I have insecurities and never confront me about it, and I appreciate them for that.

It’s hard to accept that there is going to be some things that just can’t be changed, and that’s the hardest part of self-love. But, I’m in high school and I have time to learn to accept it.

We live in an age where, how you look and what your reputation says about you is an important part of being successful. They say, “be the best you that you can be”-but sometimes that isn’t good enough.

I don’t write about these posts because I want pity, I write because I know others deal with similar issues and I want to share my experiences-simply because there is no shame in admitting weakness and vulnerability voluntarily. It means more when others believe it is a power they can hold over you. You let these vulnerabilities be talked about, and you’re set free.

You could say, “well, Celeste, that’s easy for you to say, you’re writing to strangers,” and I would say that you’re right. Maybe take up writing a blog or some other such thing, like Youtube :D.

Anyways, there is tons of people who promote self-love, but they don’t explicitly mention that it’s a personal journey for each and every one of us. Not everyone is willing to expose their insecurities, not everyone is shy about it, and no one ever talks about how lonely this road of self-discovery actually is. Only you can deal with it, sure your friends will offer support in whatever you think you have to do to better yourself, but they wouldn’t understand all the issues that you’ll go through. BE STRONG. BE BOLD. BE YOU.
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MASKS?

Why are teenagers afraid to be themselves?

Actually the real question is: why are people in general afraid to be themselves?

I will be upfront and say that I am scared to be myself. I’m putting it out there, and it was frustrating to not have an outlet where I could express myself and so for many years I bottled it all up and became kind of introverted-and I still am to some extent, but I am trying to open up to people and be more friendly, but it is hard. The reason I started this blog is so that I could finally release some of the frustrations and rants that I mouth to myself in the mirror in the bathroom late at night.

I was/still am scared to test the waters and do something completely out of my normal. I never joined sports because I was scared of what others would think of my mediocre talent. I was scared to do any performing arts because I couldn’t handle the judgement and the stares. So what does that say about me? I have no excuses, I had the talent, but I never had the guts or the ambition to be better, to be out there doing what I liked doing. I’d always took whatever people thought of me and kept it as my mantra do things that would have people not think the same thing about me the next time-don’t know if that make sense. And I still don’t have the guts to do these things. I almost didn’t start this blog because I hesitated and began to doubt myself-but then I realized that maybe-a one in a millionth chance-I might be able to help someone out by sharing my insecurities and my experiences.

I think, in general terms, most people are hiding something about themselves, hiding behind a façade. And that’s okay.

A lot of the times we find that most people are scared to be themselves because they are scared of judgement-and not all people are scared of judgement- but most of the time this applies. And this is usually a product of the environment they were raised around and because of the environment people choose to surround themselves with. Often times, we notice people who seem so confident and so sure of themselves on the outside-because that’s how they believe they’re supposed to act-consciously or not.

But how can we expect people to be themselves-if we say to them, “it’s okay to be yourself,” sometimes that implies that it previously wasn’t okay to be ourselves, other times it can offend others simply because you’re saying that they weren’t being themselves, and some respond positively.

Millennials (like myself) and Gen Z are actually extremely outspoken about how they feel and how things should be done-and I understand that its somewhat baffling to the previous generations-simply because they were raised differently, to respect and always listen to their elders. My generation simply has no regard for that kind of thinking-most of us feel like you have defend yourself and your worth because that’s the only way to gain respect – and while I personally don’t believe that, I can understand where they come from. We’re coming upon an age where differences and uniqueness is encouraged for entertainment and future success-because we all want to be somebody one day; having enough money to support a family just isn’t enough anymore. (oops going off onto a tangent)

So why are people afraid to be themselves?

I think it’s because they’re afraid of judgement and people are so easily defensive these days but we all react in different ways but the end result is still the same-we all wear masks.

Relationships Are HARD <3

SOOOO..

Let’s talk about the fun stuff…

-wait for it-

-drum roll-

relationships. lovely.

Anyway- I will likely be forgoing grammar here because this topic be lengthy hon-eey.

If you go through high school without experiencing any relationship drama-then lovely, you got lucky.

Having been through ridiculous relationships myself, I can tell you that nowadays, most millennials (like myself) or most gen z kids only date because it’ll gain them more followers or more social status-in schools and its not just high school, it’s also bleeding into the middle schools and in the rare cases, elementary schools. Now that sounds crazy and overdramatic but as someone who has younger siblings, it is becoming increasingly common to see.Like what happened to the good ol’ finding a high school sweetheart cliché or being best friends and dating in college scenario? And I’m guilty of the same thing I’m talking about!

Personally, I believe it may be a result of social media-I mean its great, I’m an addict I swear-but because of social media status-who has the most followers or the most likes or some other stuff like that, might be the reason a lot of kids (like me LOL) are getting into those one month-long relationships just so they can post about it. And what is so crazy about it all is that – I don’t know about little boys but- little girls are being told stories of having a prince charming when they’re older and they become so disillusioned at a young age that, life isn’t like a fairytale, and that sometimes your heart will get broken. It’s such a terrible thing because we need people like that; ones who believe that love can be like a fairytale, because it is a beautiful thing.

Relationships have never been something that I am good at. I’ve always believed that I had/have bad luck because the guy always broke up with me and got bored. I wondered – what the heck is wrong with me? why is it so hard to keep a steady boyfriend? But I realized that-maybe, just maybe-it wasn’t my fault? Maybe it was because social media was so ingrained in our lives that it was just the cool thing to do-other reasons include maybe the guys were just used to breaking up with girls after a month- and they had been conditioned by society to believe that’s what was manly and that’s what guys are supposed to do.

No matter what though, always have your friends around to keep you in check, to make sure you’re not blind to the other person’s faults. Don’t ditch your friends for that significant other either.

I find that whenever we have problems we go online and see if the answers are on the internet and it’s strange to me that we find the best advice in random places. I was always the friend that gave advice but couldn’t follow her own advice. It’s the same with relationship problems like if y’all need advice I’m down to give it if you want.

-shrugs

What do you guys think?

Comment your thoughts below!

QUEEN

I rather like naming the titles with one word in all caps-it makes it seem mysterious and serious.

Anyways, as you know-or maybe not, I don’t know-I’m a senior in high school and one of the biggest events of the year-that most little girls dream of- is coming up: P R O M. And we all see the pictures and the dresses and the glitz and the glamour, BUT there’s a lot of random, stupid things that happen, that most people don’t talk about and I am here to enlighten all of y’all. THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT PROM IS: the freaking planning of it all. Sure, the buying of the outfit is mildly stressful and maybe getting a date or choosing to go with friends is also mildly stressful, BUT no one talks about the annoyance that is planning, especially if you go with friends like I did.

  1. You have that one friend that wants to go to crazy places to take pictures.
  2. You have that other friend that just cares about how much everything costs (that’s good!).
  3. You have that one friend who is completely anal about doing realistic planning that is actually possible (this friend and the first clash quite a bit) (also me LOL).
  4. You have that friend that also just doesn’t care about the plans and will pretty much go along with whatever the group decides.
  5. And then there is the friend that, last minute decides that they can’t go.

So, you think, maybe I’m better off going with a date?

But then you have to do some of the same planning-as with friends and you’d only have to discuss with one other person, BUT there’s way more planning that has to be done on top of that:

  1. Color coordination
  2. The Boutonnieres and Corsages.
  3. Meeting the girl’s family (a MUST)
  4. Dancing (gotta plan some good dance moves)

There might be other things that gotta be planned but these are the bigger things.

But, I digress, the experience is worth it, after all, I am a firm believer in experiencing everything at least once, especially if an opportunity to do so is presented.

Now, that being said, I did the most embarrassing thing in the world (debatable LOL), I put my name down to be part of the prom court as a joke. Now, in the previous years, it was the teachers who would decide who was on the prom court, but of course, this year it all changed. DUH DUH DUUUHH. Anyways, suffice to say that I am not the most popular person in the world, like yeah, I’m nice to people and I don’t really have drama with people but I’m not well known-ya know? So, I didn’t get on court-and didn’t really expect to… so yeah.

But yeah, anyways, prom can be a real pain to plan, but in the moment, it all seems worth it.

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