idk what to title this lol

DISCLAIMER THESE ARE ALL OPINIONS NO ONE IS FORCING ANYONE TO ACCEPT WHAT IM SAYING LOL

Someone recently (today haha) asked me about couple compatibility. And, for me, it all comes down to similar core values.

Core values as in the same or similar beliefs in regards to different virtues and vices (I totally borrowed these words from my ethics class). Virtues like honesty, compassion, and pride (there are others lol). Vices like killing, lying, and greed. There are spectrums to these things and I think we all have an opinion/belief on them. So when these core values coincide with another person is when I think compatibility exists between people, it doesn’t always have to be couples, it can be friends too.

I don’t think that having exactly the same interests is as important compared this. Like yes, you can bond over having the same favorite artists or the same show, but it’s not as important. The saying “opposites attract,” is not true in terms of core values.

To give an example, my sister and I have been opposites from since we were very young, we have different interests, different styles, different favorites, different personalities-opposites almost. But the one thing that we are the same in, is our core beliefs-we both value the same things in people and in ourselves: compassion and consideration for others, generosity because we are privileged, all these things. And, one might say that of course we have similar values, we were raised together by the same parents-but my other sister differs completely from us in terms of values. I’m not saying she doesn’t value the same things, but she puts more importance on other things.

But I was also asked what a couple should do if they find themselves incompatible by my defintion. And to what extent? What lines shouldn’t be crossed?

I personally don’t believe that a couple would be together if they were completely incompatible. I think that something must have drawn them together in the first place aside from physical appearance. BUT on the off chance that it does happen, I would say that (as a true romantic would) that if they loved each other enough and they were willing to fight for each other enough, then they should be able to get through it. And, I’m not saying that they should pretend like their differences don’t exist and ignore the problem entirely. But, I think that if they were willing to put in the effort to stay together, then they should focus that effort into understanding the other person’s point of view to gain some clarity.

But, the thing is with this is that, relationships will never be easy-even amongst compatible couples.

But there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed y’know?

To give an example (no this did not happen to me LOL):

An ‘incompatible’ couple with differing views on let’s say killing. Person 1 believes that it’s okay to kill others in defense of family and friends. Person 2 completely disagrees and believes that you should never ever kill anyone no matter the circumstances. Person 1 also believes that lying is unacceptable, that you should always be honest with yourself and others. Person 2 thinks that there are exceptions to this. They both accept that the other has different beliefs from themselves, but they choose to ignore it, they don’t talk about it because its a ‘touchy’ subject. They pretend this problem doesn’t exist-and thats’s not healthy. It’s borderline toxic even, at least in my opinion because I made this basic scenario up.

OR

If person 2 was completely blinded by his/her love (infatuation?) for person 1, that they were ignorant to a difference in values, then I would also consider that to be toxic.

But, what I’m trying to say is that I feel the line is crossed when the relationship becomes toxic. Toxic is subjective, it is different for every relationship so I won’t label something definitively as being toxic. But, I definitely feel like this is one of those things where you have to let your friends in and have them keep you in check. At least, that’s what I do and I make sure they know I appreciate them and what they have to say even if I don’t agree.

thanks for reading this lol

relationships are my soapbox if you longtime readers haven’t noticed yet.

xox celestie

 

diary 10-23-18

So.. sometimes when I’m feeling upset, its easier to process how I feel with words. I essentially word vomit everything I have to say.

Its been two days since my last ‘diary entry.’

My love life took a turn for the worst, maybe one day I’ll share the specifics of what happened, but for now I’ll keep it to myself. Suffice to say that I’ve never felt such a heart-wrenching pain in my life and I’ll be honest, I ugly-cried for like two hours straight in the back of my car because I didn’t trust myself to drive after it happened.

Its been maybe eight hours since the ‘Incident’ and I’m still sad but at the same time calmer. My eyes burn and I feel slightly dehydrated but even though I feel absolutely awful, I know we can come back from this.

I do love him dearly, and that will never change.

You know, I’m someone who learns best from personal experiences and I know that to those around me, I might be acting too forgiving or too hasty or whatever. But, I know that if I just stand by and let it happen, I could never forgive myself. Especially if I could have done something that changed the outcome. So, I feel like I did all that I could but it doesn’t stop it from hurting.

I give so much relationship advice and I can’t help but wonder if the advice I’m giving is good advice. The advice I give others is based on what I would do in that situation. But if I’m making the wrong decisions, how would I know? Choosing to trust and forgive is easy for me, because its all I know. But what if I’m wrong?

 

xoxo celestie

diary 10-21-18

Dear diary, I’ve decided that even though I have midterms on Monday that I would write a little something as a sort of break from studying – but if I’m being honest I’m very bad at studying anyways, so I feel like the break won’t really affect much. ANYWAYS, aside from my super bad studying habits, I wanted write out some of my disjointed thoughts about my newest relationship, boyfriend, whatever.

We’ve been dating for I would say maybe a month and a half.

It was a lot of hesitancy on my part at first because I prefer slowly getting into relationships, meaning being friends first then dating, etc. but he was and still is a roller coaster ride. I thought he had only wanted me for my body at first. I thought that he was one of those ‘love ’em and leave ’em’ type of guys. Which totally confirmed my thoughts about being friends first when it comes to relationships.

But, I took a chance and went on a date with him and I’m happy I took a chance.

It was scary because it happened so fast and its still scary.

I’m very attached to him now and when I try and imagine what it would be like if he left, it hurts.

I think that if we slowed down, I’d be less nervous than I am now. What I mean by fast, I mean I’ve met his best friends and he’s met my family-these are important milestones in a relationship and its strange to me how fast it all is. Its new is what I’m trying to say.

And, there’s still those insecurities that I’m sure most people get when they get into new relationships (or maybe they don’t and I’m just odd, I don’t know). Sometimes, I wonder am I good enough? Am I being supportive enough? Am I doing this or that enough? And, I know myself well enough that these insecurities are lingering doubts on whether dating someone right now is the right option for me at this stage in my life, where I probably should be focusing more on school over dividing it in half. But, I also know myself well enough that I’m too stubborn to let him go.

But, he makes me happy so we’ll see how it goes.

Also, (I’m pretty sure he’ll end up reading this sooner or later, soo… ) he looks better with glasses.

Aside from that, I’ve decided that I still don’t know when I’ll post in the future. BUT, because it was five am when I wrote this, and we all make weird decisions when its early in the morning, I’ll post again for sure on November 1st and 6th. Those dates are significant for reasons I’m sure you can figure out yourself

XOXO,

celestie

hi guys

um sorry I haven’t been posting lately, I’ve been putting my writing skills to other things (school) and I’m not sure how long but hopefully this hiatus will end soon-BUT don’t worry, the November Dress is coming in 2 1/2 WEEKS. YAY.

xox celestie

My October Dress

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I’m super excited to unveil this dress for you guys! October is one of my favorite months because of Halloween, where dressing up every year was something I loved doing. Halloween was an integral part of the reason I love designing so much, so suffice to say, I wanted to go all out.

This dress was a result of a challenge I made for myself where every aspect of it was something I had never done before, basically a dress of firsts. I had never made a ball gown before this dress and I had never embroidered anything before this dress. So, really this dress was a huge challenge because I had no experience in doing the things previously mentioned.

I also linked the video below.

click me!

If you want to see the previous dress in the series it’s linked here.

click me!

If you want to see my behind the monthly dress series post its also linked.

click me!

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