DAY4

Hey guys! it’s officially day 4 of my a-post-a-day challenge!

So, today’s topic is body image and my advice for loving your body no matter what.

Let’s paint a picture.

Imagine a Taiwanese and Vietnamese mix, 4’11 girl.

She has short hair a little past her shoulders and wears glasses too big for her baby face (but that’s how she likes it).

She’s got so-called ‘small bones,’ with a 23 ½ inch waist, 31 ½ inch hips, and 31 inch bust.

She’s got an arch in her foot because she wore heels at too young an age and that arch is not natural but she looks like she has dancers’ feet now.

She has no thigh gap, she’s got hip dips and belly rolls (just like everybody else) and jiggly upper arms.

I’ve always been told that I was short and much too skinny.

People would always ask me if I was anorexic or bulimic-but I swear I’m not.

My sister calls me fat all the time (not in a malicious way-she just means I have to get up from the couch and go exercise).

I’ve never felt uncomfortable with how I look because I’m confident in myself and that while appearances are important-its how I present myself to others that detract from how I look and put more emphasis on my personality.

I’ve been ‘skinny-shamed,’ and I’ve been called ‘vertically challenged,’ but I’ve never really cared because I’m content with the way I am. You know, its easy to overlook these comments if you’re truly confident in yourself. I make jokes about my height all the time-its easier to win hide and seek by the way.

You can learn to love yourself by: standing in front of a mirror and just say one positive thing about yourself every day; wear the right clothes, ones that make you feel ready to take on the world (I didn’t win best dressed senior by wearing sweats every day ya know); focus on being a good person to those around you-your friends can build up your confidence better than you can alone; there’s plenty of other ways other bloggers have discovered that I haven’t thought of.

The plus-size community is a pretty powerful group of people sharing self-love and image positivity. The reason that this group in particular is so successful, is because they have icons and activists who are confident in themselves and their identity and their fans share that confidence (because we all want to imitate our idols).

If you don’t feel comfortable with the way you are now-then change to be better. If you don’t love your rolls or your love handles, exercise and work for the body you want. It’s all about mindset, you have to believe that you can do it-because in the end if its something that you really want, then you just do it. You can complain and whine as much as you want-as long as you get the job done. There are a lot of people who wallow in self-pity because they’re not happy with the way they are-and what I say to them is this:

“Don’t hate on society for shaming you when you shame yourself. It’s a different story if you accept and love yourself just the way you are. But if you wish that you had the body of a model from that magazine you like, if you wish to look different from the way you are now-then you have to change your attitude. Work hard to obtain the changes you want-because there will always be body-shamers out there and it’s easy to blame them. Don’t take the easy way out.”

I’m not saying its easy. I’m not saying that it’ll be instant results. I’m not saying that you should change to conform to society’s expectations of beautiful (because that is always changing)-but if its your own personal goal-if the reason you want to change is to better yourself-then you have to work hard.

CONFIDENCE

I’ve always believed confidence in oneself was one of the most admirable and desirable traits one could have. But at the same time there is a borderline between confidence and arrogance which I feel should never be crossed-duh! But how do we know when we cross the line?

Here’s some examples that are not as obvious:

  • If you show up late to outings frequently-it shows that you feel like your time is more valuable than others. And, it is one of the most understated signs of arrogance because most people don’t think that deeply about something like being late.
  • If you go out of your way to prove that you’re right or to prove that you’re never wrong- it a lack of acceptance on your part that shows arrogance and if you end up being right about it and you can’t be gracious about it, then well, its arrogance.

But confidence is not just about being proud of how you look or being comfortable in your own skin. Its also about being able to respect yourself in a way no one else can. You respect yourself by not doubting your ability and skills. You respect yourself when you push yourself to do better in every aspect of your life. Because this kind of respect-the kind that stems from self-love- is all the more impactful.

They say that when you have less confidence, it prevents you from seizing opportunities and taking risks for yourself that could ultimately help you succeed. I’ve struggled with that for a long time. I was confident in who I was and I was comfortable in who I was as a person. But, I was never confident in my abilities and I never took risks. But, at the same time, I wouldn’t change the decisions I’ve made because I’m able to talk about it now whereas if I did have the confidence to do things I ordinarily wouldn’t do, I probably couldn’t relate to this on such a personal level.