BLISS

Hey guys, I’m actually actively trying to write again on here and I know I said it before but here’s me actually doing it! (I’m totally not avoiding making a presentation due in two days…) So hello!

The title gives away what this post will be about. So, I’m going to be talking about my bliss and how I found it.

Joseph Campbell, an author famous for promoting the idea of the hero’s journey in literature once said this: “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”

For me, bliss is the same as whatever you’re passionate about. I am lucky that I have found it so early in life. It isn’t easy to find something that can keep you enraptured and captivated for life.

But bliss isn’t just about what makes you happy (its not selfish thing), being intoxicated or doing things or being addicted to things that give you the illusion of happiness is not the same. Its something that you will find yourself always coming back to. It is something that you can do for hours and feel like it had been an exciting five minutes.

Following your bliss, is adding a vitality and meaning to your life that you would not have normally have found doing something you feel you should do, for example, choosing a job for its potential income or choosing a job because you care what other people think or want of you.

I found my bliss unknowingly the very first time I was in my grandmother’s sewing room. I had not realized at that moment at 8 years old that I would start cultivating a life long love of design and fashion. As the years went on, I never truly believed I would ever truly be able to work in the fashion industry – it seemed too risky – but I still dreamed of it. Fast forward to senior year and I had started to doubt whether or not I should pursue it as my parents wanted me to be a teacher (nothing wrong with that but I wasn’t super enthusiastic about it). I was so indecisive, there was a hesitance to my college applications, a hesitation to that commitment to something I didn’t really want.

So, I’m to take classes at community college but I decide to start my monthly dress series right before classes start and that spark to design is reignited but is still hesitant. I was still unsure of what I wanted for my life and I decide for the winter- why not? – to take one of the college’s fashion design courses and I knew then that the only thing I wanted to do with my life was design, to create and to beautify. I had never known a happiness and a love for something so great until it finally clicked in my heart and in my head that this was my passion, my talent, my path. It was an amazing feeling in the moment. I continue my monthly dresses and now I’m hustling because I’m taking on two more design classes each taking up 15 hours of my week on top of two other general ed. classes and now I’m super stressed, always sewing, always thinking about what I have to do next. I’ll transfer to the fashion school I had been thinking about forever in October.But I will say that I have never been so happy to feel so frustrated and tired and overworked.

This is my bliss and I’m going after it.

The April Dress

This is like four days late….

I am overly stressed out from sewing practically every other day on top of going to class, so much so that I have only enough time to dedicate it to my family and boyfriend. But, I’m honestly having the time of my life. I have always described my biggest character flaw using the biblical term sloth. I am really lazy and I think this is my time to work on outgrowing it. The constant deadlines and expectations push my skill as a designer and inspire my creativity, I have to be better and work harder. I find that the more pressure I am under, the better I work and the less I complain. I have higher energy despite sleeping less and less.

There were times where I was too tired to even think about working on the monthly dress throughout the 7-8 months I’ve been working on it. But I knew that I made a commitment to it by posting the first dress. But it’s hard, its easy to want to just stop and give up, but at the same time it’s equally as easy to keep going when everyone who sees your work and sees your progress, keeps you accountable despite not even saying anything.

For my April Dress, I really wasn’t sure what to make but it got into my head that I should do something reflective of my current life in a kind of contradictory way. I wanted to make a look that was effortless, easy and timeless. The mermaid silhouette represents the timeless aspect of it. It was easy and effortless in that, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to put it on and feel good.

If you haven’t, but want to see my March Dress:

click me!

If you also haven’t seen my February Dress:

click me!

If you want to learn more about the dress series:

click me!

diary 10-23-18

So.. sometimes when I’m feeling upset, its easier to process how I feel with words. I essentially word vomit everything I have to say.

Its been two days since my last ‘diary entry.’

My love life took a turn for the worst, maybe one day I’ll share the specifics of what happened, but for now I’ll keep it to myself. Suffice to say that I’ve never felt such a heart-wrenching pain in my life and I’ll be honest, I ugly-cried for like two hours straight in the back of my car because I didn’t trust myself to drive after it happened.

Its been maybe eight hours since the ‘Incident’ and I’m still sad but at the same time calmer. My eyes burn and I feel slightly dehydrated but even though I feel absolutely awful, I know we can come back from this.

I do love him dearly, and that will never change.

You know, I’m someone who learns best from personal experiences and I know that to those around me, I might be acting too forgiving or too hasty or whatever. But, I know that if I just stand by and let it happen, I could never forgive myself. Especially if I could have done something that changed the outcome. So, I feel like I did all that I could but it doesn’t stop it from hurting.

I give so much relationship advice and I can’t help but wonder if the advice I’m giving is good advice. The advice I give others is based on what I would do in that situation. But if I’m making the wrong decisions, how would I know? Choosing to trust and forgive is easy for me, because its all I know. But what if I’m wrong?

 

xoxo celestie

starting the conversation

Again, I feel like I say this a lot but, it feels like it has been a while since I’ve sat down and just written. So, today I want to talk about something that is kind of controversial (okay maybe really controversial). I was originally going to talk about identifying insecurities in yourself and how to combat it, but this topic seemed more interesting and I want to save the topic of insecurities for a video blog. So, my topic for today is why I feel schools should start teaching sex education more and way better.

I remember in middle school in sixth grade, we were separated into boys and girls and each group was sent to different rooms to watch a video about puberty. I could tell by just looking around that no one was paying attention, and no one cared. At the time, I wondered why no one paid any attention because this was stuff that was important to know. But, there was also that the video was poorly made and so no one took it seriously. Fortunately, my mum had got me one of those books on puberty with those awkward drawings and kind of awkward advice but it was really informative (I’ll link the book my parents got me down below). So, I considered myself lucky that I was so informed as compared to my ignorant classmates, who giggled everytime the p-word came up. Though, to be fair this was back in sixth grade.

At the end of the video, the teacher supervising said that in eighth grade we would be watching another video on safe sex and protection. It never happened.

My parents never gave me the dreaded “Talk” because they always believed in abstinence until marriage. So, I never knew about birth control pills and the other types of contraceptives available for young teenage girls. It was pure idiocy to believe that you could get away with practicing sex without some sort of protection and yet, a lot of people I knew believed that. Of course, in high school we learned some things, but it wasn’t enough to be completely informed about all the risks.

I learned a lot of this through research because I am not one to take unnecessary risks because I was too lazy or because it was too embarrassing. It is important to know.

A lot of parents often feel uncomfortable talking about this subject, but it is really important to be transparent about this topic in particular. You do no one a favor by keeping your child ignorant of something like this.

My advice to starting a conversation about this is to start with asking them about what they know and don’t know and fill in where they are lacking. Here’s a list of questions to cover a general spectrum of ideas (some are gender specific so be careful about what you ask):

  1. What do you know about the female/male anatomy?
  2. What do you know about practicing safe sex?
  3. What do you know about contraceptives? (and parents even if you don’t want to contemplate the idea of your kid having sex at all, please have your child get some sort of IUD or pill or even have some form contraceptive available-because it’s better to know that they are practicing safe sex over not knowing at all what your child is upto until it is too late)
  4. What do you know about STDs?
  5. Give general advice about how your child should abstain from sex in general lol.

So, final thoughts. I think that schools do their students a great injustice when they allow them to be ignorant of safe sex and puberty. This is a topic that will never be ‘comfortable’ to talk about but it is a must. I wish that I had been given the talk and had access to contraceptives like birth control pills just for the reassurance, that safety net.

Puberty Book– This book is one that was created by the American Doll brand and they have a lot of self care, teenage help books for girls.

human experience

(this was my speech for a class)(also I was super proud of it in written form despite the disjointedness of it)

 

“We were the people who were not in the papers. We lived in the blank white spaces at the edges of print. It gave us more freedom. We lived in the gaps between the stories.”

-Margaret Atwood, “A Handmaid’s Tale”

Today, I’m going to talk about the time I journeyed through modern literature to find self-insight.

This was an experience that was a complex mix of emotion, inspiration, and enlightenment.

Years ago, some weekend in the fall, and I know for sure it was fall because reds, oranges and browns litter my memory of this event.

On the way home from visiting one of my uncles, my family and I stopped at a bookstore.

I remember this trip was different from ones in the past because I had decided that instead of getting books by well-known authors of just the mystery genre, I would try something new and get something from each genre, and of authors I did not know.

After finishing a lot of the books that same day, I was thinking over a lot of the things I had read and I felt enlightened and emotionally charged.

Each author despite different genres talk about abstract concepts, like life, death, all these things. But, each were able to describe the beauty in the collective human experience.

What it means to be human, to feel, and to experience the world around us. I could hear the authors’ voices swirling around in my head. Each with a different perspective and view on the world, it was explosive.

It was emotional in that you could feel pain, happiness, rage, elation, and all these emotions through the characters the authors had crafted and it was beautiful.

I had always loved reading but because of this experience, I was better able to understand the circumstances of the world around me and gain a tolerance for situations I might not know enough to judge.

This experience was a journey in and of itself, a journey of really self-insight and discovery.

I think that stories and novels, if written well, can really broaden one’s view of the world around us.

Happy National Read-A-Book Day.

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